I tell you my dirty little secrets

"ouch..."


Dapat nag re-review ako ng Bino for quiz tomorrow eh. Kaya lang i'm uber bored with school stuff lately. Lagi nalang silang nakabuntot. Sobrang daming nangyayari sa school, hindi ko masabayan. Di ko alam kung tinatamad lang ba 'ko o sadyang di ko lang talaga sila magets. Anyway I don't want to talk about it. Meaning: it's really been painful to me sa totoo lang. Well mabuti na yung ganito than to feel nothing at all. Minsan nga iniisip ko sobrang manhid ko eh, as in, bato. Pero hindi naman. Though hindi pa ko nakakaranas ng sobrang painful na brake up like my friends. Pero I can justify naman na marunong naman ako mag mahal kahit papano in a different way naman syempre. A great example of which is [Insert last boyfriend name here]. Yup, siya. Sobrang love ko siya I give him the freedom and oppurtunity to love someone who will truly love him in return. By breaking up with him mas nabigay ko yung pagmamahal(Uuy cheesey, pagmamahal talaga) na hindi ko kayang ibigay sakanya. Magi-guilty at the same time masasaktan lang kasi ako araw araw if I'm with him without giving him what he deserve. Mabait siya, though he lied to me pero ok na yun, I guess some relationship has their own little secrets for the sake of preserving the love and to let that person stay, kung malalaman man nila in a long run, wapakels na kasi mahal na nila eh, tanggap na. Grabe, I sound crazy while typing this, as if I've experienced true love. WELL NOT. sad face. Ako na ang poser ng mga hopeless romantics, AKO NA!!

Pero as of today, i will wholeheartedly admit I miss being inlove. Isang araw napansin ko nalang sa sarili ko na I miss being inlove that lately everything I see seems dull and colorless, school for me, right now, seems lifeless. And I'm not sure about this one, but every food I eat? seems tasteless. no joke. tasteless talaga, yung iba. Tapos minsan parang wala na kong gana kumain. One friend suggested nga "Why don't you have a boyfriend, para inspired ka..?" I really want one, sorry to sound desperate pero, kelangan ko na yata ng someone. Yung pangmatagalan. I'm 20 already. Maiintindihan naman nila mom and dad yun, pero nako bahala na. If he shows up I'll grab and go! HAHAHA parang take out lang eh. Tawa. Tas eto pa, I have this secret obsession for pin-up models, I'm obsess with them the same level of my (secret) obsession for rocker boys with artsy tattoos (oh pls, don't tell mom) And FYI, my gender is so much STRAIGHTER than your rebonded hair ok. I just want posters of them in my room para inspired naman ako maging sexy. :) HEHE nice. Wootwoo. ^o^~!!